Morning.

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

Two reasons. First, I allowed the quality of this publication to slip last week. I previewed Miami vs. Atlanta instead of Miami vs. Cruz Azul. I apologize for exposing you to such incompetence. It won't happen again.* Second, well…you know the second reason.

Let’s discuss.

*It will almost certainly happen again.

⚠️ Columbus Crew

You know what’s really fun? Staying up late for a delayed game and watching your team get absolutely stomped.

I feel bad for the folks that made the drive. Your dedication is unparalleled and admirable. I’m always ecstatic to see CITY fans at away games.

BUT BACK TO MY RAGE. WTF was that?! And by that, I mean Zelarayán’s free kick. We could’ve at least tried to stop it.

Pompeu left his position at the last second and gave Zelarayán a clear target. I get what Célio was trying to do—bolster the wall and throw off the offense. But dude. ‘Rayán is GOOD.

Pompeu: “Hey, you. Yeah you! Good soccer player with the ball! Kick it right here.”
Zelarayán: “Okay.”

And Lundt. Benjamin Maximillian Lundt. Little Ben. Benjie. B-Max. I didn’t forget you. Yes, Pompeu left you exposed and that’s not cool. But you do have to try to stop the ball.

Also, Miggy. Ugh. I don’t like to criticize Miggy. It hurts. But he’s had quite a few unforced errors lately. It might be time for a Perez Pause.

I’m ready to forgive. Lundt had a great save later in the match. As for Célio…well, I just really like Célio. And I’d throw down for Miggy. I’m talking full-blown Outsiders-esque rumble. People make mistakes. (See above).

Ultimately, we lost with a heavily rotated squad. I think we can draw one of two conclusions from this: (1) We aren’t prioritizing Leagues Cup, or (2) Dudes aren’t machines and sometimes dudes need breaks. It’s probably a bit of both.

As upset as I am about our performance in Columbus, I know we can’t win every match. The JSIFs are going nuts on Facebook and Twitter acting like Carnell has no interest in winning anything. That’s silly. We are absolutely crushing our inaugural season. It’s fine to be upset about a result, but the performative outrage is a bit much. I’m done doubting Carnell.

Anyway, you know I have to talk about possession. We had 35%. The Crew had 65%. This is the first time we’ve lost with less than 40% possession. Alas, it wasn’t an MLS game, so I’m not counting it. MY FAVORITE STAT LIVES ON!

🌎 Club América

You know who else loves possession? Club América. I thought that’d be an advantage, but we just lost to the highest-possession team in MLS so 🤷‍♂️.

América is STACKED. They have 18 players worth at least $1 million. Nine above $5 million. We have zero above $5 million (Klauss is closest at $4 million).

Market value doesn’t necessarily mean quality (sup, Toronto), but usually you can get an idea of a team’s seriousness from their payroll. The average player for Club América makes $603,462. That’s about twice as much as the average Hellcat. (Are we doing Hellcats? Admin seems to be pushing Hellcats).

It’s going to be another late one. Keep an eye on Álvaro Fidalgo (#8). The Spaniard hails from Real Madrid’s La Fabrica. One could argue—indeed, one has argued—that he’s the best player in Liga MX.

So how do we advance? We must beat América tonight, preferably during regulation. (An outright win is worth three points. Each team gets a point if it goes to penalties, with the winner getting one additional point.) We could still go through with a win on penalties, but the math gets quite a bit harder.

I have this dream of giving Miami their final pre-Messi loss and first post-Messi loss. Since we are on opposite sides of the bracket, that means they need to make the final and so do we. Let’s do it!

While I’d rather win, a loss would give the team a much-needed break. As long as they stay fit and ready, that could be an advantage as we head into the final stages of MLS regular season. Silver lining? 🤷‍♂️

📰 Other CITY Stuff

Welcome, Nökkvi 🧊

I’m sure you’ve heard by now, but Lutz and Tha Boyz have acquired Icelandic attacker Nökkvi Thórisson (NOOK-vee TORE-ee-sun) from Belgian Club Beerschot V.A. for €600,000. That makes him our third most expensive acquisition to date. I don’t expect him to take the league by storm (pun unintended but noticed after the fact), but I think he’ll be a big asset. Then again, Lutz sees things we mere mortals cannot. Nökkvi could be the next Muhktar for all we know. Read more over at STLmag.com.

Welcome, Diego Gigliani 🤗

New GM just dropped. The team announced Gigliani back in April and now he has officially taken over as the club’s new president and GM.

Gigliani hails from City Football Group, the multi-club ownership group behind Manchester City FC, New York City FC, Melbourne City FC, and at least 12 other clubs. Gigliani oversaw eight of those clubs during his 10-year stint with CFG.

The club has made clear that the Argentine is not replacing Lutz. Gigliani reiterated that yesterday:

Gigliani’s appointment will free up Carolyn Kindle to focus on developing the entire region, something she is clearly good at. Be sure to check out Matt Baker’s excellent thread about Gigliani’s role with the team.

More CITY stuff:

• Nilsson is coming. Per Tom Timmerman, the Swede might finally get some minutes in the City2 game against LAFC on Saturday. He will need some playing time before starting with the first team. This will be his first appearance for the team. He is our second most valuable player.

• CITYPARK will host the Bronze Boot this year, a doubleheader that features the men’s and women’s teams from SLU and SIUE.

That’s it for this week. I’m taking next week off barring any major developments. Apparently I’m supposed to actually do my job. Anyway, talk soon.

Warmest regards,

I’m sorry Miggy. I didn’t mean it.